I promised you bookmarks, and now, thanks to my terribly mediocre skill with MS Paint, we have bookmarks. If you guessed at the James Wood Mad Libs (or, heck, if you just feel like having one) you can pick one up next time I see you.
This preview shows the front and back of one design. There are 6 designs in all, so far. The other bookmarks have quips about Virginia Woolf, Samuel Beckett, Sylvia Plath, Jane Austen, and Dave Eggers.
Does Nabokov really think you suck? Did Jane Austen really wretch on your dissertation? No, not really. The messages on the bookmarks are meant as an antidote to the kind of fanatical veneration of authors that leads us sanctify their every sentence, mangle their quotes, and cudgel each other with evidence that we understand them better than the next guy. Not that you’re doing that. But other people are. And we must remain strong in our resolve to oppose them. Books is books. Don’t let anyone shut you down by quizzing you on whether Samuel Beckett bowled left-handed or right-handed in cricket games as a boy. (It was left.)
Surely this is the start of a vast merchandising empire at the Fiction Advocate.
Come and get ’em!