Cindy McCain says in the New Yorker that she’s willing to “chew broken glass” if it will ease the pain of her terrible migraines. Don’t be so hasty, Cindy! Over at Lapham’s Quarterly, they’ve discovered a whole passel of old-fashioned herbal remedies from Missouri in the 1860s. Put ’em together and you’ve got our first Article Mashup.

CINDY MCCAIN, WHAT TRIGGERED YOUR MIGRAINE?

a) “sudden drops in barometric pressure”

b) “huge, monsoonlike thunderstorms”

c) a shattered bottle of perfume

d) “red meat, chicken, chocolate”

e) “the scent of cooking dog”

f) “Stella Artois”

THEN BY GOLLY, YOU SHOULD GIVE THIS A TRY!

i) dried poke root and whiskey

ii) “a little whiskey and butter,” beaten together

iii) “wild cherry bark, dittany, pennyroyal, and chamomile root”

iv) “a bright green weed that grows around springs”

v) the juice of a roasted onion and a bit of sugar

vi) blowing on it

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