At Passover we set an empty place at the table for the prophet Elijah.
At Christmas we leave a plate of cookies out for Santa Claus.
At Thorksgiving we save room for Thor, the Norse god of thunder. Just in case he shows up.
So this Thorksgiving, remember to bring out your best salad hammer and set it beside Thor’s mighty dinner fork. Decorate your family’s Thorksgiving table with lightning in a bottle (fireflies in a mason jar). And fill your drinks with miniature frost giants–available wherever Thorksgiving ice cube trays are sold.
Children are encouraged to wear little wings on the sides of their heads, but under no circumstances should they pretend to be Thor himself. For there is only one Thor, god of storms and strength, and he will smite all imposters when he visits us on Thorksgiving.
Damn you and your culture wars! This country was founded on Norse principles, and what’s good enough for the Founding Fathers (Benjamin Freyanklin, John Quincy Odins, Alokixander Hamilton) is good enough for me!
I think you must be confused, Brian. Thursday is Thothsgiving and the traditional table setting includes a dessert Ibis.