1. To see what would happen.

2. For warmth in these cold winter months.

3. It’s meant to distract you from the unsightly way my haircut is growing out.

4. To channel my inner Robert Redford. Although he’s not known for having a beard, is he? So maybe it’s Kris Kristofferson I’m thinking of.

5. For strength in battle.

6. Because I was traveling to Europe, and in order to blend in, it was either this or give up bathing.

7. Man, I don’t even care what people think of me anymore.

8. I quit when the cost of a shave and a haircut went up to three bits.

9. So we could have a broader conversation about grooming, social conventions, and the importance of “looks” in today’s society.

10. It’s just happening, okay? You, me, and the rest of the world – we have to accept it.

.