ROALD DAHL’S WRITING HUT, the place where he created the characters that made most of us care about reading in the first place, is falling apart and needs to be moved. The public, however, remains unmoved by the pleas Dahl’s family has made for funds to back the preservation effort. Many people have wondered aloud why the money his books continue to generate can’t be used to save the place where the books themselves were generated.

Ian Crouch writes in the New Yorker:

It could all be a plot point from one of Dahl’s books: a boy’s magic hideout is discovered by adults, who proceed to squabble over what it is worth, who should own it, and how it can best be put to “public use.” (The dippy adults would undoubtedly receive various comeuppances.)

After some thinking, I propose the following possible solutions:

•  Big Friendly Giant movers.
• Ask witches to temporarily shrink the house into a mouse for easy carrying. Other alternatives include capturing it in a painting and moving the painting.
• Have a family of foxes dig up through the ground floor one night and carry the hut piece-by-piece to the closest museum.
• If lots of seagulls can move a giant peach, they can move a house.
• Find a telekinetic bookworm and get her to move it.
• Multiple scenarios that would end up with nasty consequences for wicked spinster aunts and mean step-parents.
• Ask Harry Potter to help, since he probably wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Roald Dahl.

These, of course, are just ridiculous flights of fancy. Everyone knows they should just move it with Wonkavision.

The comments space is open and waiting for your ideas…