What if Starbucks merged with Dunkin Donuts, the Los Angeles Lakers merged with the Boston Celtics, and Russia merged with China? Then we’d have something to compare the merger of Penguin and Random House to. (We’d also have a very strange coffee blend, a deep bench for a playoff run, and an impossible-to-read language.)

And if the books themselves at Penguin and Random House merged? Adam Mansbach knows exactly what would happen, including Cloud Atlas Shrugged, The Joy Luck Road, and The Remains of the Barefoot Contessa.

Check out all the merged classics here.

– Brian Hurley