[Alby, an emotionally confused and often violent young man, explains to his father why he is attempting to nurse a baby bird back to health. -Ed.]

“Listen,” I said, “he’s helpless and he needs me and I got a thing in my heart for helpless things that need me, OK? So I’m gonna be here for him until he dies or grows into a god-damned falcon that flies around the neighborhood all day eating raccoons and dogs and little toddlers before he flies back to my forearm and takes shits. I already ordered the glove, dude–online–’cause Gary here is gonna terrorize all of Suffolk County, hunting mammals and butt-fucking seagulls.”

“Why you gotta talk like that?” he said. “You sound stupid.”

“Yeah,” I said, “people keep telling me that, but people also keep being pieces a shit that are wrong. So let me tell you something else that’ll sound stupid: right now, Gary’s stem cells are generating rods and cones for better night vision that he’ll use to bite people’s dicks off in the dark. Dudes’ dicks are in danger, Dad. And if you don’t think so, you can get right the fuck out of my bedroom!”

— Making Nice by Matt Sumell goes on sale today